Five Reasons To Avoid the Mom Guilt Trip

Being a mom can make you feel guilty, but you deserve so much more.

I recently had the awesome opportunity to start writing some blogs for MommyMindpower.org, now MamaZen. If you’re a stressed-out mom (and let’s face it if you’re a mom, you’re probably stressed out), then I highly recommend you check it out! I wrote a recent article about mommy guilt. I don’t know about you, but I feel that little twinge quite a bit, especially when I first became a mom, and decided it’s time to start ditching the guilt. 

As moms, we tend to put everything that has to do with our own self-care on the back burner, and we focus on our family (especially our kids). The end result, we end up losing our patience and going into Hulk-mode.  Guilt wiggles its way in and you just feel worse, right? So why do we do it to ourselves, moms? 

The truth is, and I think most of us know it deep-down, is if we were to ditch the guilt, we would become even more amazing moms because we would feel better about ourselves. In the article I did for MommyMindPower, I mentioned five reasons to lose the guilt, and I wanted to share some ideas with you.

You Matter — Yes, you do! Even if you don’t always believe it, it is true! The sooner we realize that we’re still important, the sooner we can take better care of ourselves. Don’t feel guilty if you have a desire to get out of the house for an hour, or if you want to sneak off into your room to read two pages of a novel, or you want to go on a walk by yourself. Carve out some special moments that are just for you, and just breathe.

 

Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover —  This one is a biggie, especially in the world of social media. We see all of these awesome and incredible things that other moms are doing and we assume that’s their life 24/7. Well, no, it isn’t. Social media is like the highlights reel of someone’s life. Avoid falling into the comparison trap and forget about keeping up with the Joneses. The Joneses are probably just as stressed out as you are, and maybe even more so!

 

It Takes a Village, but You Might Not Have One — In many other countries around the world, when a new baby is born, the whole village, literally, chips in and helps raise the child. In other countries, the extended family gathers together to offer assistance and a helping hand. You may or may not have family and friends that step up to help you, but the reality is probably that you do quite a bit on your own. Accept help when it is offered and stop feeling guilty when you get tired after chasing after your child all day; kids are exhausting, it’s a fact! It is OKAY to feel tired and feel like you need a nap, you are HUMAN.

 

Nobody Is Perfect —  Again, it bears repeating, we are all human, and that means mistakes are going to happen. The sooner we can all accept that we will make mistakes, the easier it will be to cope with them when they occur. The important thing is to learn from them and try not to make the same mistake twice. Hey, I almost left the house wearing no shoes the first time we were heading out to the doctor after my son was born, luckily, my husband is nice and decided to let me know.

Your Kids Love You — Even when your kids are screaming at you and telling you that you’ve ruined their lives because they couldn’t have another cookie, they actually really do love you. As long as you are there for your kids when they really need you (physically and emotionally), you can take some time for yourself without being weighed down by guilt. Your kids are not going to be traumatized for life because you told them they can’t watch anymore Paw Patrol, or they can’t have the latest tech gizmo. 

Basically, it’s natural that as a mom you want to do what is best for your kids and your family, but quite often, that means doing what is best for you. It’s easier said than done, for sure, but with one baby-step at a time, you can make small changes that will ultimately end up making huge differences in how you approach motherhood and parenting. Above all else, let your kids know you love them, and then shut the door when they try to follow you into the bathroom; it’ll be okay.