With Christmas right around the corner, I thought this was a good one to share. This was a recent piece for ThinkJr Creations on helping kids handle disappointment. It’s definitely not always easy, even as adults we struggle with feelings of disappointment and have a hard time accepting the word “no.” But, setting a strong foundation when kids are young can certainly help.
As a parent, you undoubtedly want to give your child everything and desire nothing more than for her to be happy and healthy. You likely strive to ensure she has everything that she needs. However, deep down, you probably know giving your child everything she wants is a recipe for disaster. Teaching your children the difference between wants and needs is a vital foundation for helping them handle disappointment.
“You Don’t Need It.”
Children, especially younger children, are notorious for stressing how much they need something. Whether it’s the latest video game, coolest new shoes, or an ice cream cone, kids will express strongly that they need these things. It’s your job to respond with the following gentle (but firm) clarification, “No, you want it. You don’t need it.”
Eventually, as long as you’re consistent, your kids will start to understand the difference, even if they don’t always agree with the sentiment.
Learning and appreciating the difference between wants and needs is a big part of dealing with disappointment. If your children grow up realizing they don’t need everything they want, nor are they going to get everything they want, they won’t expect to get everything they want. When a child doesn’t expect everything to go his or her way, she’s less likely to become disappointed in the first place.
Teach Your Kids to Express Emotions in a Healthy Way
Even with a strong understanding of wants and needs, disappointment is still inevitable. We all get disappointed, whether it’s about something we aren’t able to have or a place we’re not able to go, or we lose a competition.
Therefore, your child must know how to express her feelings healthily. You can help her by reading books about feelings, discussing different scenarios with her, and even through role-playing. You can also model how to handle disappointment by letting your child see how you cope when something doesn’t turn out as you hoped it would.
Good Sportsmanship Is Important
Ensure your child understands the qualities of being a team player. Teach her always to congratulate the winners, do her best, and not to gripe about losing. Let her know it’s okay to be disappointed, but it’s not right to show it in negative ways.
Foster a Sense of Gratitude
Start a system of giving with your child where she selects toys or a portion of her allowance to give to charity. Making her aware that there are those who have nothing can help her better appreciate the things she has. You want her to grow up understanding that she should never take anything for granted.
Key Takeaways
- Start teaching your child the difference between wants and needs as soon as possible.
- Help your child learn how to express her feelings in a healthy way.
- Foster a strong sense of good sportsmanship in your child.
- Encourage your child to appreciate the things she has and to help those less fortunate.
Check out ThinkJr Creations for more engaging videos and tips to help teach your children. You’ll find lots of resources that will help your kids develop valuable morals and positive qualities!
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